Are hard to decide on.
And are even harder to keep.
But life gets so much easier when you give yourself a structured way to think about any given opportunity or path.
When your priorities help you set your to do list.
When you make a decision and stick with it.
The more filters for decision making we create, the better our ability to relieve ourselves from the fatigue that comes with making a decision, or following through with a decision.
Because that’s part of our anxiety. We’re anxious because there’s an open loop that’s bothering us, and we only remove that anxiety when things feel under our control. When a decision is made.
Pema Chodron calls this “trying to add concrete to our lives.”
We try and add concrete to things. We try and add cement too gain control. And when earthquakes hit we quickly turn to pouring more and more cement because stability and control are what makes us feel safe.
But nothing is stable. Everything is in flux.
And we have to learn to be comfortable here because it’s only changing more quickly. We don’t have the ability to make things concrete.
Everything is in flux.
So create priorities for yourself.
Create a value system for what integrity is in your life.
Create filters for how your make decisions.
Not so you can gain full control, but so you can reduce the mental fatigue of open looping decisions. So you can step back and allow the earth to move and shake and know where you are and where you’re going. So you have a direction without only 1 single road to follow.
Everyone can create what this looks like to them.
But for me, at the very least, I create some type of high level pyramid.
The first being my general priorities.
- My relationship with myself and my own identity
- My family, my close relationships.
- My work.
- My friendships/community as a whole.
Then under those you can select priorities and values within each of the groups and so on.
If you can’t pick what’s most important in your life, you’ll get swept up by whatever wave is hitting you at the time and follow it until another one comes along.
Adding cement won’t help.
But adding guidelines to your direction will keep you unshakable.