Internet Likes + Love
Every day I put myself out there online in hopes that I get picked.
There's a lot of rejection, but I do get a small bits of validation, getting a few "likes," "follows," or comments here and there.
I thrive off of this pseduo-internet-relationship currency. It feels good getting a positive response.
But I'm sick of dating around and being safe in the "friend zone."
These "likes" and comments are non-committal and I'm looking for something deeper.
So I expose myself even more with new, riskier offers. I have a greater chance of being hurt, but at least I am being direct about what I want.
Not long ago some people found me, and we struck up a conversation where I showed them what I had to offer. It was a terrifying, butterflies in the stomach type of moment. But instead of a rejection or a "like" or a "follow" they gave me money. It felt like love. Nothing says I value you quiet like money.
Because a payment is like a promise.
There's a whole lot of trust hiding under that transaction.
They trust that you've been honest in who you are and what you can provide them with.
That you're committed to this for the long haul.
That you're there for them should they need help.
And then sometimes deeper:
That they can share their dreams with you.
That you can help them make their goals a reality.
That they feel respected and worthy.
This is not a light task. Being responsible for this is much of what I stress about. I'm up at night afraid to let someone down. If you've exposed yourself it's possible you can get hurt and they can too. I've seen many instances where client's feelings are hurt or customers unsatisfied. There's nasty breakups and even unresolved controversy. No one gets out without a few scars. Some are hurt and scared to love again.
The internet is won through capturing people's hearts and minds. If you want to find love, you must risk your relationship moving past a "like."
But this is something I believe in. Even with the stresses and apprehension and grief.
To be on fire rather than in protection. Burning brighter with the potential you've created by living in the imbalance.